I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
