Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The struggles of a small town man whore
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
