i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You smell like stripper and shame
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
