I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
