Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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