Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
