Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
