I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
