he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
