Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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