i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
