Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
