Rock
Scissors
Fuck
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
