There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
