I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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