There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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