Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
