Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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