I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
