Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
