i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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