We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
