the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
