That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you win again, gameday.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
