whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
