My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
