were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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