It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
