I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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