You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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