Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
