i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
two words: eviction party
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
