just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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