There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When did angry sex become our thing?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
