I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
