my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
