Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
