He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
