You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
