You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
