Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
