Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
