So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
