we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
