areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
