haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
