i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
