yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
