you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
