I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
