i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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