No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
