haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
