She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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