I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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